Do's and don'ts for the gym

It's January and you've signed up to the gym, determined to finally make 2019 the year you get in shape. Excellent! Good for you! Going to a gym for the first time can be a daunting thing, but I want to help make it the smoothest transition of your life. After all, you want to focus on looking after your body, not worrying about whether or not you 'belong', or any other such nonsense people use to talk themselves out of making a change.

'Yes, officer, there were two guns involved...'

DO: Get involved!
Most gyms offer extra classes as part of the package, such spin cycles, aerobics, HIIT groups, etc. If it's your very first time going, consider signing up to a class or two. They're a great way to meet new people - most of whom will no doubt be in the same position as yourself - and will help you get a feel for the gym. Plus, the trainers for these classes will work you a lot harder than you'll work yourself!

DON'T: Worry about what other people think
Everyone has the same fear about going to a gym - What if everyone stares at me because I'm out of shape? Take it from me, a tubby bugger who has been going to various gyms on and off for a few years - nobody is looking at you. Not one person is going to spend their precious workout time watching you instead. The meatheads over at the weight benches are busy looking at themselves in the mirror. The people on the cardio machines are concentrating on their breathing. The people using the workout machines are more worried about counting their sets. Point is: nobody is going to spare you a second glance, so put your headphones in and get your sweat on.

Nobody cares that it's your first time. They're busy with their own workout.

DO: Pace yourself
On you first day at the gym, it might be tempting to throw yourself headlong into every single machine and workout and try to hit a hundred thousand reps immediately. Don't go crazy! Start slow. Try and hit ten reps at a fairly light weight. Increase the weight and hit ten more. Increase the weight again and try another ten. Find your own limits and boundaries, but do it slowly and carefully at your own pace. Once you're comfortable using the machines, then begin setting your own rules and reps. But please don't rush in! If you hurt yourself on day one, you won't go back for day two.

It's a great feeling!

DON'T: Be afraid to ask for advice or assistance
Every gym has staff on hand to offer support, advice, and instruction during regular hours. Make use of them! That's what they're paid to do. Most gyms have staff that double up as personal trainers, too. It's well worth considering the investment of having a session every week or two. Failing that, ask someone for advice. The people who look like sculpted statues of Adonis have that figure because they know what they're doing. Ask them for tips and pointers. The only thing a regular gymgoer loves more than working out is talking about their training.

DO: Put your damn weights back
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PUT YOUR STUFF BACK WHEN YOU FINISH WITH IT, WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN?

You can't find the weights you need, but you can trip over them.

DON'T: Sit on the machines texting people
This is my pet hate. I'm doing an extra set on this machine, keeping a watchful on my next intended workout, but some jackass is sitting there, scrolling through their phone over and over. Dude, you haven't done anything in ten freaking minutes, you're not resting, you're in the way. GET OUT OF THE CHAIR.

Terry Crews should show up every time someone hogs a seat.

DO: Challenge yourself
It's fun to mix things up now and then. Try a new machine. Go out of your comfort zone. Download a workout app and try to perform the moves on the floor mats. Working out doesn't have to be boring!

DON'T: Stand around talking selfies
Okay, you can take one selfie a session. Use it as motivation. Fuel. Use it to inspire other people. But, for goodness sake, this is a gym, not a cocktail bar. Don't take dozens of selfies. Not only does it make you look like a selfish jerk, it will make the people around you feel uncomfortable. Don't throw others off their game. And this includes getting people to take pictures of you. I've seen so many people - men and women - posing and flexing while their mates take pictures. Do it at home. Not here. This is a Church. This is holy ground.

Don't be that person!

DO: Have fun, enjoy yourself, feel the burn!
Working out releases endorphins - aka the happy drug - into the bloodstream. The more you do, the better you'll feel. Even when your arms and legs feel like they're about to fall off and you swear your heart is about to explode, the rush of happiness is like nothing else on earth. If you let it, going to the gym willl make you feel great. Working out feels great. Losing weight feels great. And all you need to do is put in a little effort.

Live it, love it.