Pain and pushing through

Eleven miles is a long damned way to run and my body - wobbly bits and all - is not equipped to handle that kind of distance. But I persevered with my run last Saturday and hit a new personal best. I wanted to see if it was possible to go further than my previous best of ten miles, and I'm delighted with the result.

Eleven laps on the inside circuit - half a marathon in two hours is within reach!

The further I run, the more new pains and aches my body starts to experience. These aren't the usual muscular aches, like back when I first started and my legs protested at being used so vigorously. These are uncomfortable new irritations and agonies I've never experienced before. For instance, after around four miles my feet start to tingle. It feels like pins and needles in the soles of my feet. This sensation doesn't travel any higher than my ankles, and fades away after the fifth mile or so - thankfully! - but it's really distracting while it lasts. Maybe I need better footwear.


After that, there's pain in the lungs from trying to take even, deep, steady breaths under such strenuous circumstances. Breathing, I've learned, is the key to almost every exercise and controlling your lungs is a vital part of running long distance. You don't want to start gasping or hyperventilating. Bad enough you hear yourself wheezing like a squashed otter in the silence between songs, no need to make that awkwardness any worse.


And don't forget about losing all sensation in your fingertips! At the beginning of the run, my hands were too hot. I cussed myself for not wearing the fingerless gloves instead, but persevered anyway. After the hallway point, I lost most of the feeling in my fingers. By the end, it hurt to unclench my fists. And my fingers were freezing. Still not sure what the cause was - the falling temperature; the wind resistance; or aliens.

Any excuse to post this image.

Surprisingly, I don't get pain in the one place you might expect me to feel it. My leg muscles were actually fine. Once you're going and locked into a good pace, it's really hard to stop. Your legs keep moving almost on their own accord. I let myself slow to a fast walk around three or four times while running those laps. It didn't seem to have any negative impacts on me (apart from protests in my thigh muscles when trying to get started again).


The thing that shocked me was the way my body trembled all over once I had finished. After I had stretched and had a protein shake and the adrenaline had worn off, my entire body started to shake and tremble uncontrollably. It was like climbing out of an icy lake and standing on the shore in a freezing wind. My fingers shook. Teeth chattered. It was a bizarre feeling. I wasn't cold, but I couldn't stop. That must be what exhaustion feels like.


The more running I do, the better I feel. It's a strange parallel. When I first started, my legs would barely hold while showering afterward. Now I can run eleven miles, stretch out the cramps, and be surprised by the full-body shuddering I experience later. I'm getting a little better at this, day by day.

All aboard the dreadmill

I've had the chance to log a couple of runs on a treadmill now and I feel there's enough to warrant talking about the major differences between training at the gym and training outside. Plus, I forgot to put up a post yesterday and need to make up for that (sorry). Can't be helped - it was my day off and there was a list of things to do that was longer than my arm. But I managed my first run of the week!


The biggest difference between treadmill and outdoor running is that the treadmill is easier. A lot easier. It moves by itself, unlike the road, keeping you at a pretty consistent pace. In order to simulate the road a little better, I set the incline up a notch or two, just to add more difficulty.


Another thing I've noticed is that it's a hell of a lot warmer in the gym. Outside, in the current weather, I'm able to hit double figures on a single water bottle. In the gym, I'm dripping with sweat like it's the middle of summer all over again. There's a fan on the machine designed to blow cold air into your face, but it only aims as high as your chest and is about as powerful as someone huffing vaguely toward you.


I've spoken about this before, but it's still true - running on a treadmill is so bloody boring compared to being out on the road. Staring at a wall is the most mind-numbing activity imaginable. Your brain wanders all over the place and you end up not really concentrating on what you're doing - not in the good way, either. How many times have I almost tripped over my own feet on the treadmill? Too many damn times. Sure, there are a few TVs playing music videos, but the songs are atrocious (modern pop/ dance anyone? Anyone?) and I'm fairly certain the music playing over the speakers is entirely different to the one displayed onscreen.

Almost seven miles in just over an hours is still pretty good, right?

And the thing I hate the most about the treadmill is that you can only run for one freaking hour at a time. After that, you get a five minute 'cool down', before the machine turns itself off for thirty seconds. This is so bloody irritating. It totally throws me off my stride - figuratively and literally. After you've been brought to a screeching halt, it's so difficult to get going again and build that precious pace back up. The challenge then becomes trying to get as much distance behind you as possible within this absurd sixty five minute window. Not ideal for training.


Imagine that happening with any other piece of equipment in the gym. The dumbbells suddenly become lighter than air after ten reps. The squat bench folds up when you've 'done enough'. The personal trainers prevent you from doing any more press-ups. Whoa, there buddy! That's plenty for today, doncha think? Imagine running the marathon and buggering off after an hour because that's all you were allowed to train. Yes, I know you can start the machine up again, but after you come to a halt, there's no drive to start to back up again. It's not like coming to a halt at the road to let a car through, it's an end to the session.


It's not all bad, though. There is one thing the treadmill does really well - even better than running outdoors. Pace. On a treadmill, you set the speed and try to keep up. You can't do this on your own. Once you start to flag and slow down, that's it, you're done. It's really hard to claw that time and pace and energy back. On a treadmill, there's no choice. You keep going (well, you can lower the speed, but there's always a voice in the back of your head telling that only a wimp would do that).


Despite all these differences, there are a lot of similarities between indoor and outdoor training. You're still running. Still improving. Still using the same muscle groups. Still driving yourself onward. At the end of the day, as long as I'm running, I'm happy.

Rising frustration

When you start exercising regularly, your body starts to feel more and more energised with every day that passes. This is fantastic if you keep exercising, but a bloody nightmare when things go wrong and you can't get out there and burn off that excess energy.


So far this week, I haven't managed to do anything even vaguely athletic - both my own fault and due to events far beyond my control. I'm desperate to get out there and bloody run, but everything seems to be against me. It's frustrating and I hate feeling like this - pent up and full of energy.

I've been up late almost every day this week, unable to sleep or shut down at the end of the day. I need to get out there and train or hit the gym and get some miles behind me. I hate this feeling of being coiled up and squeezed into a box. Luckily, I'm off work tomorrow and hoping to get something done, though I'm not sure yet exactly what. My aim for this week was to hit eleven miles, but that's looking further and further out of reach.

'Don't you get bored?'

Not really. My mind is usually fixed on what I'm doing. I try to imagine what it will be like to run through London, flanked by metal barriers and crowds and hundreds of other runners. I keep telling myself to keep going and not give up. When I start to flag, I grit my teeth and mutter, Come on, under my breath.


I used to listen to audiobooks, back when I first started. They're a nice distraction, a pleasant way to occupy the mind for a few hours. Now that I'm running so long and so far, I need something with a bit more oomph to it. My current playlist is comprised entirely of Iron Maiden's studio albums. 155 tracks. 16 albums. 15 hours. Stick it on shuffle and run!

Run like Eddie is on your heels.

Sometimes the music lines up pretty well and I find myself gunning it to some stone-cold classics. Racing alongside 'Flight of Icarus'. Pounding pavement to 'Charlotte the Harlot'. Trying to run a lap before 'Rime of the Ancient Mariner' ends. Getting a second wind just as 'Sign of the Cross' explodes into high gear. And - if I'm really, really lucky - hitting my stride while 'The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner' soars all around me.


No, I don't get bored. There are too many things to think about and too many songs playing to get the chance. It's different in the gym. Much easier to lose your mind and trip over your own feet while staring at a boring, featureless wall. Running outside is a lot better for that.

Double digits!

For the first time in my life, I ran more than ten miles in one go. No slowing down, no stopping, not even a cursory faint at the end. What an amazing achievement for a lazy bugger like me. Couldn't even run a full minute five months ago, now I'm half freaking way to being as trained as possible for the biggest and most recognisable marathon in England.

It was a good journey. Started out cold, but after one mile I couldn't even feel the chill. My running tights were perfect for the single-digit evening weather. My feet started to go numb around the four mile mark, sending strange little pins-and-needles ripples through my calves. I guess I'm not used to running on hard surfaces. Around seven miles, colours started to blur - streetlights and car taillights looked less stationary and more like comets leaving glittering trails through the dark. Everything started to hurt about eight miles in, but I never stopped. I never slowed down. The first five miles were all sub-nine minute laps: my fastest time ever. Couldn't seem to slow down, no matter how many times I tried. My legs were moving and carrying me onward.


I even had someone cheering me on. There was some kind of event taking place at the church just off the leftmost curve of the loop in the picture above, so a security guard stood on the main road, directing cars inside. After lap two, we started to shout encouragement to one another. Well, I was shouting encouragement to him. Couldn't hear his voice over my music. I assume he was spurring me on - he might have been yelling insults or threats, but his smile was friendly. That was a curious little taste of what it might be like on the day. Total strangers standing to the side and yelling at me to run faster, even though my lungs are trying to climb up my throat.


The knowledge that I hit such a lofty target kept me in good spirits all weekend. I toasted marshmallows over a fire (and was utterly disgusted at how much mess they made), safe in the knowledge that I can consume those additional calories. I earned the right to absorb a little more extra sugary goodness.


I've decided that running the work loop is probably the best way to train at the moment - easier for me to build into my days, a good length, and exactly the kind of terrain my body needs to get used to running over. As a strange side note, my 10-mile run took place on the outside loop of the business park. I learned on Saturday that the inside pavement is exactly one mile, so the next run will take place on that loop instead. Let's find out if I can run eleven miles!

Staying positive

Sometimes it's really hard to stay engaged and happy and excited about running. My runs aren't brief, enjoyable thirty minute jaunts anymore, they're epic slogs of around an hour and a half each. Fitting them into my day is becoming more and more challenging, too. Sometimes I finish work with bundles of energy, but that enthusiasm is long gone by the time I get home. Last night, for instance, traffic was so bad it took over an hour and a half to get back. The irony is that I could have run home from work in that time.


Today, I've brought my running gear to work with me. My plan is to do laps of the park before heading home. That way, I hope to keep all my energy together and unleash it the right way. Not by yelling in passive-aggressive frustration at people chopping and changing lanes on the M4. That's the idea, anyway. Will it work? Will I get slowed down repeatedly by all the traffic fighting to leave Aztec West at five o'clock today? Probably. More than likely, actually. But I'm going to do it. My run on the treadmill was strange and not as enjoyable as I'd hoped. I want to keep running on the roads - it's better practice, more enjoyable for pacing myself, and much less boring than staring at the gym's off-white eggshell colour wall.


I'm trying to stay positive and upbeat. It's becoming slowly more difficult. Maybe it's the oncoming winter - human beings are genetically programmed to withdraw during the winter months to preserve energy - or maybe it's because I'm naturally cynical and pessimistic. There's a voice in my head telling me that I'll never do this. Give up, it says. Why bother? I have to try and push that voice aside. I want to do this. I want to prove to myself that I can do this - anyone can run a marathon, my fat arse included.


Even if I don't want to do it, I'm going to run. Once I start, the rest becomes easy. All I've got to do is begin. It sounds so easy when I put it that way.

Halloween Fun-draising

It's Halloween! Time to get spooky. In our office, that meant dressing up in costumes and selling cakes in the kitchen. Here's a few pictures from the day. Who said getting sponsorship had to be boring?

I chose to dress as Daredevil, the Man Without Fear - appropriate, given that I'm bricking it about the Marathon.