Emerging from the bunker

Haven't posted or written anything on here in a while because there wasn't much to say. We all lived through it. Coronavirus tore the civilised world a new one and it affected everyone in some way or another. Some suffered, some lost loved ones, some lost their jobs. I'm lucky that the worst thing to happen to me is being confined to my home for months on end.

Is it safe to come out again?

Now it seems that the world is starting to rebuild. Restrictions are lifting, stores are opening, and civilians are strutting around with that same, smug air of untouchable confidence they had back in February. By the autumn, people will have forgotten everything we went through as a people.

I survived lockdown by becoming a hermit. No going to lie, it's been really nice spending time in the flat with my wife and not worrying about doing much of anything. It's been tough sometimes - getting in each other's way, not having any space, etc - but we've enjoyed the hell out of working from home.

The downside, however, is that neither of us has done much physical exercise since we entered this hibernation period so many months ago. I've managed small runs here and there, but getting back into routine - and shape! - is going to require the exact same focus, commitment, effort, and perseverance as when I first laced up my trainers in May 2018. In two years, I've gone from a fat guy to a marathon runner and back to a fat guy again. I'm almost the same weight I was at the very beginning of all this.

But this time I have a huge advantage. I already know how to run. I know that I can do it. All I need to do is get it done. I've started making myself go for runs before work - even mapped out a new route to keep things fresh and interesting for myself. I've got new music pumping away in my ears as I run. Every day, I make myself run that little bit further before breaking into a walk. I still love the thrill of rushing alogn the streets, feeling my heart race and thud in my chest. All I need is to rediscover my motivation - again.

Fear and Loathing in the West Country

Okay, let's talk coronavirus. Firstly, yes, the 2020 Bath Half is still going ahead on Sunday (two days away, at the time of writing). Secondly, no, I will not be taking part. I have made the difficult decision to pull out of the half marathon due to the ongoing health crisis that is currently enveloping the planet. The UK currently has around six hundred confirmed cases and a dozen deaths related to coronavirus.Three cases have been confirmed in the west country.

As always, the current atmosphere has brought out the best in our meme community.

My decision has nothing to do with me panicking or buying in to the hype that this virus is somehow going to cause the end of the world. Far from it. My biggest worry is that my family will be watching from the sidelines for the duration of the event. I don't want to risk their health - or mine! - by dragging us all to a massive public event when the best health experts in the world are currently advising the exact opposite. I thought long and hard about the pros and cons. Is it the decision I wanted to make? No, it's not. Is it the best choice given all the available data? Sadly, yes.

I'm disappointed. Despite everything - my lack of preparation, my weight, my struggle to get back on the wagon - I have been really looking forward to this. Nikki and Jodie were unable to run with me, but I was excited about the opportunity to get back out there and prove to myself that I can still do this. That moment has come and gone now. I'll wait to the next one and push myself a hell of a lot harder than I did this time around.

At the time of writing, many large scale public events around the world are being closed. Disneyland. Schools. Universal studios. Sporting events. The London Marathon - at the moment - still going ahead. In some countries, life has come to a total standstill. In others, such as this one, things are continuing, albiet with a tense atmosphere of expectation and approaching doom.

I'm not terribly concerned about whether or not I will catch this virus. From all the data we currently have, it seems that I'm in a good age range to survive catching a virus generally unscathed. If a lockdown occurs, we'll get through it well enough. Those most at risk are elderly people and those with underlying health issues. I am not panicking or buying up all the toilet roll in sight or raiding the shelves for any remaining hand sanitiser.

There is a lot of fear and misinformation out there. Some people believe this is the end of civilisation while others are laughing and claiming this to be the biggest nothingburger of all time. The media has done an even worse job than usual in stoking these fires. Watch the news for an hour and you'll see footage of people tearing toilet rolls off the shelves, followed by a wise-faced expert calmly talking about why nobody needs to panic, before cutting to a reporter at a shop who describes the atmosphere as 'fraught' or 'panicked'. News media exists purely to get and sustain your attention, not to keep you informed. To that end, every single person reporting on this ongoing situation has done a stellar job muddying the waters.

In fact, I want to use this space to share a fascinating video on the subject, a lengthy discussion between Joe Rogan and germologist Michael Osterholm. Joe asks all the right questions and Michael uses his wealth of knowledge and decades of experience to eloquently answer everything to the best of his considerable abilities. If you are in any way worried about this virus, I highly recommend watching the full ninety minute discussion:

 

I'll post a breakdown of the talk as well, for anyone that only wants certain information:

0:40 How bad is Coronavirus
4:00 Is the virus an "old persons" disease
5:18 Incubation period
7:50 What can be done to prevent infection
13:45 Drug shortages
15:20 Sauna use effect on infections
18:00 Was Coronavirus man-made
22:00 American Wild Deer diseases and Prions
32:00 Is Corona seasonal
35:00 Corona could be 10 times worse than the flu
35:25 Corona will stay around for months
36:10 Coronavirus vs Spanish flu
38:30 How can we prepare our immune system
43:20 Do hand sanitizers and masks work
50:00 We stockpile weapons more than medical goods
54:30 Will people panic if they are told the truth
56:00 Vaccines
1:02:00 Why a virus would originate from China
1:11:30 What to do if you get the flu
1:15:45 Lime disease and ticks
1:23:00 Effects of fire suppression on ecosystem
1:30:00 Vaccine for Coronavirus

So that's all for now. Like the rest of the country, I'm adopting a firm 'wait and see' approach to the unfolding crisis. If I get sick, I get sick. All I can do is prevent and delay that to the best of my abilities and try not to pass it on to anyone else. Gutted that I am not participating this Sunday, but still happy to wish everyone well and good luck at the races.

The final week

One more week until the 2020 Bath Half. I'm assuming the event is still going ahead as planned. At the moment, there is a lot of uncertainty about large public gatherings, thanks to a certain virus (that shall remain nameless). This year's London Marathon is in jeopardy, according to the latest information, but is still going ahead for the time being. No word on if the Bath Half will be affected.

So, how are we feeling about it? I think the three of us have a shared sensation of nervous tension. Jodie has recently hurt her back and the doctor has prescribed some strong painkillers. She may float around the course. Nikki is nervous, understandable given that she hasn't been able to train properly. The girls are planning to walk as fast as they can around the course. The time limit is four hours, so if they can manage between three and a half to four miles an hour, they will be able to complete it in time.

As for me, I'm sure I can complete the course. The only question is what condition I'll be in by the time it's over. So far, I've been fairly consistent in hitting five miles an hour in my training. The awful weather has put me off getting out and actually pounding the pavements again, which is odd considering that I never let such things hinder me last year. Maybe I'm not taking this as seriously - a stupid attitude to have, because all endurance races are intense physical and mental challenges.

Aside from that, we've got all our gear from our charity, Bath Mind. Vests, maps, trackers, and race numbers. We've been able to take a good look at the course and see what's in store for us.

Bath Half 2020!

The course is a good, flat route around the outskirts of Bath centre. We'll be making two laps of the River Avon and looping back to the start/ finish point. That sounds good, though I'm concerned about getting in people's way if they're running a lot faster than me. There will be a lot of people lapping and getting lapped. I hope we don't cause any issue for those who are attempting to set new personal bests.

I have no illusions about my own fitness right now. I'm out of shape and deeply unfit. I'm a good three stone heavier than this time last year and incapable of reaching the same pace. But I do know that I have the drive and determination to achieve my goal and get this done. There is one more week to go. There are enough days remaining to get out there and make sure I'm in the right state of mind, if not body.

My last outdoor run saw me hitting a personal goal of six miles in one hour and fifteen minutes. Quite a way off my former pace, but I was proud to have managed it, especially given how awful the weather was at the time. At this current pace, I'm probably looking about two hours and forty five minutes to get through the Bath Half.

The longest run I've completed for some time.

In the meantime, I'm going to keep pushing myself and try to make sure that I'm totally ready. I'll start carb-loading partway through next week to put plenty of fuel in my body. My legs are sure to ache after this, but that's the price I'll pay for not preparing properly.

One week to go. I'm excited. Nervous, but excited.

Countdown

Less than three weeks to go until the Bath Half 2020. I'm excited about the event, but totally not ready to run it.

I've managed to turn things around since my last - rather depressing - post. I've taken up climbing with a few friends from work. We practice bouldering together after work a couple of nights a week. it's a really fun, very different activity. Highly recommended - even though my hands get rubbed raw and my shoulders ache the next day.

A shirtless photo of me for you to enjoy.

The spectacularly crappy weather hasn't helped training. Jodie and I are still forced to run on the treadmill in the gym. This is definitely not helping us get ready for the big day. I wanted to be out on the road, testing our pace and making sure we could maintain a decent time. The Bath Half is in progress for just four hours on the day, so I'm hoping to aim for a good, steady four miles per hour. Just fifteen minutes for a each mile. This is absolutely achieveable and will see us finishing well inside time if we can do it.

Unfortunately, my wife has had to drop out due to her illness destroying her training. Her running pack has still arrived, curiously, so she's toying with the idea of turning up on the day and enjoying a steady walk.

It's still strange for me to be in this position, trying to help someone else train and get prepared for the day. I know from painful experience that physical preparation really only goes so far. At least two thirds of long-distance running is entirely mental. At some point you have to make yourself keep running. I'm trying to remember that.

I'm also trying desperately not to be a total jackass and force Jodie to keep running if she doesn't want to do it. Running isn't for everyone. I got the bug and I liked it. Not everybody does. The last thing I want to do is make it even less fun for her by being some kind of angry drill sergeant while we train.

Faster, maggot!

So what's left to do? I want to get a couple of decent outdoor runs completed before the big day and maybe hit a few big numbers again. If the whole thirteen miles is out of my reach at the moment, I'll be happy with an eight or a ten.

Either way, in three weeks' time it will all be over and I'll have to start looking for the next distance run to keep me in shape. Exciting stuff.

Negative headspace

I've always tried to maintain an air of positivity on this blog, because I wanted to encourage others to jump in and get fit along with me. The idea of this space has always been to say, 'If I can do it, anybody can.' Today's post is not going to have the same feeling. Today's post is the opposite. I'm not in a good headspace and need to write down my thoughts; to purge myself of these negative feelings.

This could be me right now.

It's January, a depressing, unrelentingly miserable month. Money is already drained and the days drag out forever. As soon as the month is over, the year is halfway gone. Everyone approaches the new year with that excited feeling - 'New year, new me!' - but so few people actually stick to it. The gyms will be cluttered up with people whose memberships will outlast their commitments. I wish everyone well on their fitness journeys - I really do, despite how this sounds! - but I would love it if everyone could commit to the job in hand and see it through. Fitness is a marathon, not a sprint. I should know.

I ended 2019 a heavier man than when I started. I'm angry at myself for getting out of shape again. Yes, there was a lot going on - new job, wedding, honeymoon, Christmas - and it was lovely to simply enjoy being married and happy. But I'm way out of shape. This time last year, I was riding high on the thrill of breaking my thirteen mile target. This year, I can't run three miles without slowing down. It's humiliating and soul-destroying and I'm so mad at myself for letting things get this bad.

The Bath Half is sixty-eight days away and we are not ready in the slightest. I feel like I've let the team down - despite nobody putting me in this position - because I was supposed to lead by example. But instead of getting out there and running, I'm stuffing my fat face with chocolate, feeling my chins wobble with every bite. My clothes are tight. Every time I look down, I can see the curve of my gut. My Captain America running shirt is tighter than it used to be. When I get changed into my tight running gear, I'm reminded of sausagement getting stuffed into a case.

This could be a selfie.

So I now want to force myself to think about the positives. I'm still able to hit the treadmill and improve. I'm still excited to tackle the Bath Half and the Bristol 10K later in the year. I've signed up to take part in a few Parkruns in the area (every Saturday). I've even got an opportunity to go to a climbing gym and learn how to scale a wall, something I've been wanting to do for a long time. Despite how bleak and grim things feel, there are things to enjoy and look forward to. I'm going to push through this negative headspace and get back on track.

And, yes, I'm excited to see all the new people at the gym. I hope that you, reading this, are going to be one of them.