My Worst Run Ever

I've been running on and off (mostly on) for around six and a half years now - where the time goes, I cannot say. Since the first time I laced up my trainers, I've had plenty of good runs and more than a few sessions that were less than fun. I'm thinking about the time I ran thirteen long, tedious miles in constant drizzling rain, or the time(s) I forced myself to go out even though it was near-freezing, or the times my body couldn't get into the groove.

They can't all be good...

But even with all those under my belt, I can confidently say that my worst run ever was the November 2023 Castle Coombe Chilly 10k, as I touched on briefly before. It wasn't the coldest. It wasn't the wettest. It was nowhere near the longest. But it was the run I will always look back on as the single hardest and most frustrating.

What was it that made the run so damned difficult? In a nutshell, it was entirely mental. Nothing more, nothing less. I allowed the day to get inside my head. No, I couldn't honestly say why. Maybe it was because I'd taken time off after the Chippenham Half Marathon (perhaps too much time?) and struggled to get my head back in the game. I had only gone for a few runs between the two events, and most of these had been brief jaunts on the treadmill. At the time, I believed that I was doing well; I set the machine for an hour run and gave it my all. Indeed, I was delighted to watch the distance climb higher and higher, and when it reached that magical six with plenty of time to spare, I was elated. A 10k run is roughly six miles and I firmly believed that I was not only ready for the race, but that I was in better shape than ever before.

Oh how wrong I was.

It wasn't until a week or so after the Chilly 10k that I learned the sad truth about gym treadmills. It turns out that they are all set to record distance in kilometres, not miles. So when I believed that I'd smashed the six mile target in less than one hour, in reality, I was still around 3k short. This definitely became a huge factor on the day.

It also didn't help that this was my third time taking part in the Chilly 10k. The excitement of running on a real race track was long over by this point. It was also my third time running with my brother and I fully understood that he was so much fitter than me. The awful weather only caused my mood to slip and get worse as the kilometres fell behind us. The more I struggled, the more I started to doubt myself and the harder it became to keep going. Of all the runs I've completed, this was the worst, by some considerable distance.

At the time of writing, it's been almost a full year since I endured that particular run and it still plays on my mind. I still think about it when I'm lacing up my trainers or looking out the window to check the weather. It haunts me like a specter. Any time I'm struggling to find the motivation or looking for a reason not to go out there and train, this run returns to my mind and fills me with poison. Remember how much it sucked? Remember how you hated every minute of it? Remember how you couldn't keep up with your brother for the last sprint and looked so out of it at the finish line?

It's far too easy to let that voice win. So while I do recall how awful that run was and how bad I felt at the time, I also remember the other points, the more important facts. It was cold but I wasn't shivering. I was slow but I didn't stop. I ached but I kept going. And, most important, I remember this:

I still finished it.

Yes, we all have bad runs. Yes, sometimes they can act like mental roadblocks. But the key thing is to always push through and focus on the good side. I had a bad run and I finished it. The others will always be so much better.

A Quick Pause to Reminisce

Hello! Still alive. Still running. I'm doing well. To be honest, I keep intending to write little blog posts and keep track of my attempts to get fit again, but usually forget by the time I sit at the computer. Let's fix that today.

After ten thousand years! A blog post!

Back in 2021, after moving to Chippenham and making a running buddy, I started to get better at running again (again), (again). Tracy and I got on well, we made good progress, and started pushing ourselves to go further each time. We never worried about our pace, only about meeting our goals. It was probably the best way to run with a partner. As the year drew to a close, Tracy said the immortal words, "We're going to make 2022 the year we run some events."

And we did. Let me use this space to reflect on the few "proper" events I've completed and the medals I've earned along the way.

1: The Castle Combe Chilly 10k

Tracy and I tackled our first organised 10k together in February 2022. It seemed like a great idea when we signed up some months before, but fortune was against us. This run happened to coincide with not one but two massive storms sweeping the south west part of the country. We faced huge gusts of wind and cold, drizzling rain throughout. But that's not the part that sucked the most. Look at this:

Castle Combe Circuit, a real, legitimate race track.

As cool as it was to run on actual racing tarmac - complete with tyres piled up at the corners and raised red and white ridges along the edges of the road - this track has zero cover. There are no trees, no shade, nothing to block even the gentlest of breezes. That makes sense for high-powered vroom-vroom cars whizzing around at high speeds, but for us bipeds, it didn't help.

I'll be honest, spending most of this circuit running into the wind and rain was a miserable experience. The total length is three laps of the course and by the time we began lap two, Tracy had started pulling ahead. I think she was fed up of the weather and I couldn't blame her one bit. By halfway through lap two, I couldn't even see her.

My mind was on other things, namely trying to finish at a good time. Like most running events, there were pacemarkers scattered throughout the pack wearing flags indicating their estimated finishing times in five minute intervals. Ahead of me were the faster times - 35 minutes (!), 40 minutes, 55 minutes, etc. The 60 minute pacer got ahead of me and started to pull away. My heart sank as the 65 minute pacer soon followed.

I had one goal in mind for this run: I wanted to finish in under 70 minutes. When I was a regular runner, training for London, I could do 10k in just under an hour. Those days were long behind me by this point, but finishing in 70 minutes was a matter of pride.

Thankfully, I did it. Despite the wind, the rain, the cold, and the general laugh-in-the-face-of-it-all attitude of the day, I managed to finish this challenge in one hour nine minutes. I was delighted with myself. 

Wet and soggy, but triumphant.

2: The Bristol 10k 

Undeterred by that first experience, Tracy and I dived headlong into the next 10k, the official Bristol run. This was something I had originally intended to do back in 2020 with some guys from work, but then covid happened and the event was cancelled (or so my memory tells me, I could be wrong).

Unlike the Castle Combe event, this one took place on a dry, bright, clear Sunday in May 2022. Thousands of people gathered in the harbourside, being released in large groups to begin the winding trail around Bristol. The half marathon was held on the same day and that course merged with this one toward the end. The route was tremendous, with people lining the course for almost the entire stretch. Local brass bands blared out bass-laden beats as we passed and most of the course was relatively flat - aside from a sharp incline next to Castle Park on the way back toward the centre.

The Bristol 10k course map.

As the course went on, Tracy and I started moving up, winding through the pack, making excellent pace. As some runners started to flag and fall back near the end, we were still pushing ahead and going strong. We even managed to finish with a good sprint to the line. To top off this excellent day, I managed to finish in one hour and three minutes; a much better pace than my first attempt some months before.

3: Langley Lightning Bolt 10k 22

Fast forward to October 2022. Tracy and I maintained a decent schedule and managed a few longer jaunts as well, even breaking into double figures on a couple of occasions. When the opportunity arose to compete in a 10k that takes place just down the road from home - literally using the same roads we run every single week - I couldn't turn down the chance to sign up.

While Tracy wasn't able to make this event, I did at least have one familiar face running with me: Mark, one of my wife's work colleagues. Thankfully, his pace was close to my own, so we remained within talking distance for the first third of the race.

The course map around local country roads.

After a while, everyone found their groove. Mark and the 60-minute pacer began to gradually pull ahead of me. I ran next to the sixty-two minute pacer for a short while, having a casual chat about the various local events weve both run. It seems that the people who choose to run as pacers tend to do it with surprising regularity, heading to different races and wearing a big flag for their own amusement. Eventually the pacer began to pull ahead, leaving me alone for much of the second half of the loop.

This track was good. It was nice and flat, the roads were intimately familiar, and I enjoyed myself. Because this is one of the flattest 10k courses in the country, runners tend to come from all over to try and set me personal best records. Nikki told me later that the first finisher crossed the line at around thirty three minutes, an unbelievable time. For me, I managed to catch up with Mark toward the end and finished at around one hour three minutes again. I counted it as a new personal best and rang the special bell by the finish line.

4: The Castle Combe Chilly 10k

Yes, back to Castle Combe. This race is held twice a year, in February and November, just when the weather is at its worst. Tracy, remembering how rubbish conditions were back in February, decided not to come along this time, so I ran with my brother, Scott, who had been taking up the hobby for a few months. It was our first time running together in a race like this.

The event could not have been more different to the one in February. Blue skies, sun, warm air - I ran in a t-shirt and shorts. Scott, however, didn't take off his hoodie before we started and pinned his tracker to the front, forcing him to get way too hot before we'd even completed a single lap. If my first visit to Castle Combe was a miserble experience, this one was a genuine delight. The morning could not have been more pleasant and enjoyable. 

 

As the finish line loomed, Scott and I started sprinting, yelling David Goggins quotes at each other ("Stay hard!", "Finish strong!"). We crossed the finish line side by side at one hour two minutes, both thrilled at our pace.

5: Chippenham Half Marathon 2023

There was a fairly long break between this and my last "official" race. During this time, I continued running with Tracy both outside and in the gym, and we started work on increasing our distance again. Every September, my local town hosts a half marathon. I'd ummed and ahhed about taking part in it before, but this time Scott was eager to give it a go. We signed up and began working toward achieving the fabled thirteen mile distance.

The Chippenham Half Marathon course.

This a lovely route. It begins at the local sports ground and sees everyone run through the centre of Chippenham, before we head down the local country lanes and around those familiar flat roads once again (they get used a lot, it seems). At least ten of the thirteen miles take place along lovely flat, leafy roads alongside open fields. I knew the route well and enjoyed this trek.

Scott and I kept up a good pace and remained side by side for the entire length, making the turns and waving at people who stopped to cheer us along. We were still going strong when we ran past my home estate and waved at Tracy (who was ill with covid and cheering from her bedroom window). The route brought us back to the sports ground for a lovely fast finish on the grassy field, where our wives were waiting and cheering.

Exhausted and triumphant at the end.

We set ourselves a goal of finishing within two and half hours. Our official time was two hours twenty-nine minutes. Victory!

6: The Castle Combe Chilly 10k

One more time! November 2023 wasn't anywhere near as nice and pleasant as the previous year. A bitter wind blew across the track and seemed to put up an invisible barrier of resistance. Some people didn't seem bothered by this, but it caused me no end of difficulty.

Scott and I tackled this one again, but it was a tough challenge. We took our training more slowly after completing the marathon and I only managed a few practice runs on the treadmill in the gym prior to the event. In fact, the weather was pretty naff for most of 2023, adding another level of challenge to this run.

I later learned a surprising fact about the gym treadmills: they are calibrated to measure distance in kilometres, not miles. I thought I was managing an effortless six-mile run in less than an hour, but in reality, this was barely half the distance required for a full 10k.

This run was memorable for all the wrong reasons. It was a struggle. It was difficult. The bitter wind and the empty landscape worked against me, sucking the life out of the run. I felt gassed by the halfway point and could not get my head in the game. Usually I manage to enjoy the act of running even if the weather is poor, but this was different. There was nothing fun about this one.

At the end, Scott began the final sprint to the line, but I couldn't keep up. He finished a short distance ahead of me, yelling David Goggins quotes at nobody. My final time was still a decent one hour three minutes, but I was disappointed with myself. That's not how I like to feel at the end of a run.

Since then, I've continued to run and have some further adventures, but these are the official races I've tackled and the various medals I've won. They're all in a special box in my loft now, waiting for more victories and triumphs in the near future. I'll tell you all about that at another time...